Broken Chords
by lil miss bella cullen
Summary: Bella is lost, and has been for years. her friends have tried and failed to solve the problems, so they have to resolve to a different tactic. will it work and break down the walls that were built when she was so young? M for language and themes
1. Prologue

**PROLOGUE**

My life is one complicated mess. Things are never as they seem. Of course, there have been good moments, but they are over-shadowed by the bad ones, the sad ones and the scary ones. My life is one complicated mess, and it just got more complicated. When I try to find someone to blame, I always come back to one person, the one I will never get away from, the one who is always there. That person is the one I get up with, work with and go to sleep with. That person is the one who, when I look into the mirror, stares right back at me. That person, that bringer of bad times, sad times and scary times, that person I hate with all my heart, my soul, but the one I'm stuck with for as long as I walk this world, and maybe longer, that person is me.

Typical Monday morning in Forks, WA; it's raining. Nothing new there, it's always raining, but something is different. What it is; is unknown, but something is definitely different. The room is the same; small, crammed full of books and papers, two piles of washing waiting to be taken away, the bed pushed up against the wall, the curtains drawn but letting light seep in. The reflection in the mirror is the same; pale, ordinary, nothing spectacular. The feelings and emotions are as they always are; indifferent, tired, unexcited. But the phone is ringing; the phone never rings on a Monday morning. At the other end of the phone is the opposite of this end; it's Alice. Alice; the exuberant, fun, fashionista who takes things as they come and turns them positive, is talking with emotion and enthusiasm that is unknown at this time in the morning, or at any time, in this place. Alice talks of a party, but this means nothing, parties are never held or seen here. Not anymore. It's just not appealing. The phone-line goes dead and the doorbell rings. Alice stands there, in the threshold, waiting to be invited in. When she is, she sits down and asks for tea. Tea is made, tea is drunk and tea is finished with. Stories are listened to, bag is packed and clothes are put on before work is attended with Alice.

At work, copies of files are made, tea is poured, emails are sent, phone-calls taken and meetings attended. Notes are taken, notes are typed up, notes are filed and files returned to cabinet. Lunch is not eaten, but is thrown in the bin, water is sipped then also thrown in the bin and work is done. At the end of the day; desk is tidied, necessary files are taken back and the others put away in the cabinet. Alice leaves and soon after, the car is driven back.

The car is parked, shoes removed cleaning begins. Cleaning is finished, dinner is made and not eaten and shower is taken. After shower, clothes are hung up, and bed is used, but little sleep takes place. Reading is done, nightmares occur, and then the cycle begins again.

Typical Tuesday morning in Forks, WA, it's raining.

Typical Wednesday morning in Forks, WA it's

Typical Thursday morning in Fork's WA

Typical Friday morning in Forks

Typical Saturday morning in

Typical Sunday morning

Typical Monday

Typical

Typical

Typical

It wasn't always like this, you must understand that. The days didn't always feel robotic, on an endless cycle, so predictable, so emotionless. Years ago, when actions were made carefree and consequences meant nothing, there was no cycle, there was emotion, and there was life. But that has been drained and the cycle must commence. Nothing can break the cycle, can it?


	2. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1- Theme and Variation**

Jasper's words echoed through the house, "Take care Bella," Did he not know that his request was impossible? Did he not realise how what he had asked was something that could not be done? Actions were acted, but there was something strange, something extra, but that something was unknown, alien to this place. Emotion. Emotion was no longer welcome, emotion meant weakness, and weakness meant failure. No emotions had been allowed to enter here since, well for a very, very long time.

The week ended, but the emotion did not resurface. Alice had sent an invitation to have dinner with her, Jasper and a friend, and the invitation was accepted. The dreaded emotion had not reared its head, and was forbidden to until there was no-one around.

Alice's house smelt of food cooking, but was not appetizing to the stomach. Water was sipped while the other guest was still to arrive. Alice was helped in the food preparation and Jasper called to say the guest had arrived. Alice rushed out to meet this person, but cooking had still to be finished so it was seen to. Vegetables were chopped, water boiled, washing done and oven filled before Alice introduced the new person. But it wasn't a new person, it was an old acquaintance. Someone the eyes did not wish to see, the memory did not wish to remember and the heart did not wish to let in again. The coat was grabbed and the house fled, back home as fast as the car would allow. The door was slammed and the stairs raced up. The covers of the bed pulled right over the head, forbidding any light to seep through. Then, to great disgust, emotion decided to waken up. And it did so in the form of a tear.

**APOV**

I had been looking forward to this dinner for so long. It had been months since Bella had socialized, or even been out the house unless she had to, for almost three years now. I couldn't understand it, no-one could, but we did our best to help her, try and bring her back. It seemed impossible. So when she finally agreed to dinner with us plus one person I was over the moon! I didn't tell her who the guest was, claiming I hadn't decided yet, but really I had planned this many months ago. Jasper had been to see her, I could tell. He didn't have to tell me because she had become even more withdrawn, something I didn't think was even possible, so I asked him what he had said. When he told me, I felt so guilty, to both of them. He had asked her to tell him about herself. That was definitely the worst thing he could have done. So I felt guilty because she must have felt so uncomfortable, if she could feel at all. I felt guilty for evading Jasper too. He had the right to know about her, her reasons and her troubles, but the truth was I didn't know the half of it. When we first met, she was a broken doll, and I patched her back up again. It was pretty simple compared to now. Over the years I had known her, things got worse, her life turning upside down, inside out and back to front, constantly spitting new, hurtful situations at her that no-one deserved to be in, especially her. As she tackled each one, life drained from her. It kept draining her until there was nothing left. It almost killed me to watch it, but there was nothing I could do. I tried shrinks, I tried the church, hell I even tried Jasper, but nothing worked. That's when I had an idea. It seemed she had shut out her past, not letting it in. well, why didn't I force her past onto her? Let her into her past? It seemed like a good idea at the time, so I set about organising her past to come to her. Thing was though, I didn't know how to do it so she wouldn't freak out too much. She had always been so constant, and I didn't want to break her any more than I had to. So I talked about it with Jasper, and we came up with a game plan. I didn't tell him what my guest had to do with Bella's past, they could tell him themselves. But I didn't think it was fair on my guest to see Bella like that for the first time, so I was sneaky about it, but I gave them an insight to Bella's daily life. To say they were shocked would be the understatement of the century, they were hurt. Hurt to see Bella, a girl who, five years ago, wouldn't have let anyone walk over her without a fight, now lay as a mat for everyone to trample over her. It was difficult, but they agreed to try and help.

The day of the dinner was nerve-wracking to say the least. I decided I would keep Bella busy in the kitchen whilst Jasper let my guest arrive. I knew Bella probably wouldn't eat anything she had prepared, but at least it had her occupied. I heard Jasper call me to say hello, but Bella didn't flinch. I left her and went to welcome and prepare the guest for Bella's shock.

"You have to be ready, Ok? Don't touch her, or speak, just look at her, and if she runs, let her run. It is the most likely outcome, but it will be a start. You ready? Well you better be because she's coming out," I whispered quickly, but the guest only nodded. The atmosphere was thick with anticipation, as we listened to Bella making her way to the living room. We all stood and watched as she took in the picture. Her breathing hitched and she blinked three times before turning and fleeing for the door. When I heard the slam, I burst into tears.

"This wasn't what was supposed to happen! She was supposed to snap out of it and be Bella again, Jasper, what are we going to do?"

Jasper held me as I sobbed quietly in his arms, but I was brought back to reality by a throat clearing.

"Right, so, what do we do now sis?"

I looked up at my guest and smiled sadly,

"Now brother, it's up to you."

**BPOV**

The tears didn't stop until many hours later. The nightmares had been vivid, and they caused more tears. This wasn't normal, this wasn't supposed to happen. Lying for hours under the covers, waiting for a sign that it was morning, the doorbell rang. Walking cautiously down the stairs, the door opened to reveal the one person that should not be there.

Before the door could be shut, the voice belonging to the person struck me.

"Isabella, don't close the door, please? I just wanted to talk with you. Can I come in?" Door opened, familiar stranger allowed in, make coffee and sit in the living room.

"Thanks for the coffee. Look, Bella, I'm sorry I scared you, I know you said you never wanted to see me again, but can we please talk?"

With no reply, the stranger continued, "I've been talking to Alice, and she's really worried about you Bella, so worried in fact, she's getting herself ill. She keeps blaming herself for your current . . . state and I really don't like seeing her unwell. Will you talk to me? Please? I want to help you, and I want to help her, but you are my main priority right now. Please talk to me?"

"What do you want to know?" there was no emotion in the tone of voice that spoke that question, but curiousness was starting to peak through.

"Thank you Bella. Well, I was wondering, will you tell me about it? Everything? I want to know about you, all about you, not the pretend you that you told me about all those years ago, but the one who lives inside there, the one who has a real story, a story that is not pretty, not happy, but sad and hurting. Let me in Bella, please? I want to break down the walls-brick by brick if I have to- so, will you tell me?"

A curt nod signalled yes, and the stranger smiled.

"One condition though, you will tell no-one we are meeting to discuss my story, I don't want anyone to know it, not yet anyway. One day they will all know, but that day is not today. Deal…Edward?"

The man sitting opposite me smiled, and agreed.

"Where do we begin? I will not tell you it in chronological order. Give me a topic and I will tell you my stories surrounding that topic. Begin now."

Edward was silent for some time, watching for any emotion, but found nothing.

"Heart-break. Tell me all about who broke your heart and the stories you can think of. I want to know."

"Heart-break? Are you sure about that? It's not a pretty story, but then, which one is? Ok, heart-break it is."

"The first time my heart was broken was when I was fifteen. I was a freshman, new in the Phoenix area, my mum and I had moved in with Phil. I was pretty shy then, I didn't know how to make friends, but then I met Angela. She and I hit it off right away. We joked and laughed, rolling our eyes at the other girls who wore too much make-up and had fake laughs. She was my best friend, and we went everywhere together. She met a guy called Ben, and they were the cutest couple around. She was the girl who didn't stand for pictures, she took them. She's now New York's best photographer, the best of the best hire her. Anyway, we were really close, but she had Ben, so we went in search of a boy for me. I had made a couple of guy friends, but nothing boyfriend material. That's when James came along. He was two years older than me, but I was fifteen he was 18, had just turned the month before I met him. I would be 16 soon so I figured the age difference wouldn't be a big deal. He was brilliant and we became pretty good friends. He played guitar, sang, could even do a little piano; my dream man. I had always said I liked a guy who was musical. So, Ben was pretty good friends with James, and Ben told Ang that James was interested in me. I didn't believe them, I mean, I was fifteen, a book-worm, ordinary and nothing like him. They convinced me otherwise and I started seeing him in a different light. I hadn't realised how gorgeous he was, or how polite or how he looked at me different from the other girls. I decided I would go for it, but I was dead nervous, so Ang helped me. She arranged for the four of us to go see a movie, and I thought it was a great idea. Only trouble was, my mum didn't know about James, so we had to pretend it was just Angela and I. I didn't like lying to my mum, but i wasn't about to pass up the opportunity to see a movie with him, so I lied. She got a little suspicious because every time she brought it up, I blushed, but I convinced her I didn't know why I was doing it. honestly though, I didn't know if he would be there, Ben almost didn't come and neither did he, so it was a 50/50 chance it would just be us two girls. Anyway, we got to the cinema and the boys were waiting for us. We went into the theatre while the guys bought food and James came in and sat next to me. I was so happy, but slightly nervous too. Turns out I didn't have to be; the two of us laughed and talked the whole way through the film, and I got his number at the end of it. We were texting all the time for two weeks after, but then we stopped. We still talked face to face and on MSN, but something was different. It was some three weeks later that I found out he was dating someone else, one of his exes who was also one of the very few people I had told about my crush on James. I had even asked the girl for advice! I was so hurt, I couldn't believe she had gone and done that to me. She didn't even know she had hurt me in any way. James didn't talk to me again, and Angela felt so bad. I had cried my heart better, but now I was full of anger, but I did nothing about it. They were a good match and I decided James deserved her. To this day, I haven't forgiven Victoria for hurting me like that, but my heart has never been hurt like that since. I guess I just don't let it but not letting anyone else in. sure I've had boyfriends, but only a handful, and each one has cheated or broken me in some way, but nothing has ever hurt as badly as James and Victoria hurt me. They could have ripped my heart out for all I cared. It hurt me so badly. Does that answer your question?"

Edward stared, dumb-founded by what he had been told.

"Yes, it does. Thank you. I have to go, Alice is making lunch. Want to join us?" he asked, but a shake of the head told him no. after he left, there was a new feeling about the place, relief. It felt good to have told someone something true rather than stories of the fictitious sort. There was another feeling, but one that was gone, an ache that once filled the heart to the brim, had become less full, like some had been poured away with the words that had been spoken. And another thing, it felt _human_.

_Bella, there might be hope for you yet._

A/N

Hiya guys, first author's note for this story. First off, **I don't own Twilight**, _or any of the characters_, they are still Stephanie's.  
I do own a Biffy Clyro and Bowling For Soup mix CD which my friend made for me, and I love her muchly for it ;)  
so where was I? oh yes, I saw that I only got one little bit of feedback, so thank you uber muchly angeliclilgal, it means a lot to me :) so, **more reviews etc or I wont post anything for this story**, and I would quite like to share my story with you. It is partly my story (fabricated slightly) and the rest my imagination and the stories of real people I know or know of. It is sad that this story is a reflection of reality, but the best stories are the real ones I believe. Hope you agree! Anyways, please review or no more Broken Chords, and we have only just begun! OK and the reason behind the chapter name- the theme is the typical days Bella lives, and the variation is when she starts to talk- something she hasn't done in a very long time, not properly. i will be explaining all the chapter names that i think are kinda confusing hehe!

**Ok important notice now: I NEED A BETA FORT THIS STORY! I'm looking for someone who is happy to help with writer's block as well as the usual check-over, your usual beta-ish tasks. IF INTERESTED, PM ME ASAP! I NEED YOU!**

Thanks my lovelies  
Love love  
LMBC

Xxx


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